THE END of 2006
All right 2006.... You and I, we've had our differences...
I began this year in a foreign land. I left much of myself at home, making the first half of this year somewhat awkward. When I returned, I discovered that more of myself had been lost or changed in my travels, and it was hard to make what was left of either side reconcile with the other.
It's abstract and difficult to understand, but I don't care. You think YOU have problems understanding me...you did not want to be me this year. Geographically I was in amazing places, which I am glad to have visited. Morally, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, personally, I was lost.
My afflictions this year were numerous... many self-created and self-imposed...
Sickness. Coughing fits. Coughing fits that led to vomiting. Coughing fits that led to waking up in the middle of the night not being able to breathe. Panic attacks. Spontaneous nosebleeds. Allergic reaction in the form of full-body rash that itches like nothing else. Strep throat. Wisdom teeth out. SCABIES of all things. Six or so regular colds on top of all that.
Heartbreak. Carelessness. Closed-mindedness. Jealousy. Greed. Lust. Laziness. Gluttony. Rage. Pride. (Ten points for getting all seven!) Cowardice. Vanity. Spinelessness. Hate. Immaturity. Stupidity. Ignorance. Depression.
This year I saw myself at my worst. I saw myself shattered, shallow, and weak. A shell of the person I thought I was, filled with awful things that I did not want to see in myself.
One lesson I learned this year is that the most important thing about honesty is being honest with yourself.
But it does no good for the world if all you think about is yourself. Your self is how you are to the rest of the world. Goodness or badness is reflected in action.
Every day provides the opportunity to be who you want to be. I will not change at midnight. This change will come incrementally and with hard work and vigilance.
I ask for 2007 to provide me with courage and clarity of mind.
I began this year in a foreign land. I left much of myself at home, making the first half of this year somewhat awkward. When I returned, I discovered that more of myself had been lost or changed in my travels, and it was hard to make what was left of either side reconcile with the other.
It's abstract and difficult to understand, but I don't care. You think YOU have problems understanding me...you did not want to be me this year. Geographically I was in amazing places, which I am glad to have visited. Morally, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, personally, I was lost.
My afflictions this year were numerous... many self-created and self-imposed...
Sickness. Coughing fits. Coughing fits that led to vomiting. Coughing fits that led to waking up in the middle of the night not being able to breathe. Panic attacks. Spontaneous nosebleeds. Allergic reaction in the form of full-body rash that itches like nothing else. Strep throat. Wisdom teeth out. SCABIES of all things. Six or so regular colds on top of all that.
Heartbreak. Carelessness. Closed-mindedness. Jealousy. Greed. Lust. Laziness. Gluttony. Rage. Pride. (Ten points for getting all seven!) Cowardice. Vanity. Spinelessness. Hate. Immaturity. Stupidity. Ignorance. Depression.
This year I saw myself at my worst. I saw myself shattered, shallow, and weak. A shell of the person I thought I was, filled with awful things that I did not want to see in myself.
One lesson I learned this year is that the most important thing about honesty is being honest with yourself.
But it does no good for the world if all you think about is yourself. Your self is how you are to the rest of the world. Goodness or badness is reflected in action.
Every day provides the opportunity to be who you want to be. I will not change at midnight. This change will come incrementally and with hard work and vigilance.
I ask for 2007 to provide me with courage and clarity of mind.
posted by Emily at 12:35 a.m.
1 Comments:
Hang in there, kid! :D
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